On Niko

So my little pumpkin, Niko Malakai, made his world debut on Friday, 26 December 2014 at exactly midnight– he was 20.5 inches and 7 pounds and 8 ounces.  Someone was pretty hell bent on not being born on Christmas, but hey at least he came exactly on time. I’m glad he listened to those pep talks I had with him. For a while I kept trying to tell him not to come before Christmas Eve but don’t come in 2015. Perfect timing. I mean, how many babies come on their actual due date and at midnight? I mean.. he’s basically a unicorn. I can easily find out exactly how old he is, down to the minute at least.

I actually started labor on Christmas Eve a few hours after a routine doctor’s appointment. I was napping (duh) in the afternoon and kept feeling dull aches from my lower stomach, and I really thought nothing of it because that’s not unusual after my appointments, but I kept getting them at regular intervals. I pretty much spent my Christmas Eve timing my contractions which were already less than 10 minutes apart when I started watching the clock. It was awful and felt like someone was constantly kicking my in my lower back. So fast forward to Christmas morning where I got admitted to the hospital for the first time at around 6AM, and dismissed a few hours later until my contractions started getting closer to 5 minutes apart and lasting much longer. Went back home, popped an Ambien that the doctor gave me, tried to nap it off– all the while being trippy on Ambien. Never again. It was like hallucinating while being half sleepy and on top of having to get up to use the rest room constantly and it did not make my pain from my contractions magically disappear. Finally after getting my contractions down to about 3-4 minutes apart, I went back to the hospital that afternoon and got admitted. A few more hours of having to painfully get through my contractions, all while attempting not to curse too much in front of my mother, and I finally got my epidural. Things were bliss after that, minus the fact that I kept shivering uncontrollably but that seemed like a small price to pay for that sweet relief. Y’all, I could not feel a thing from my lower back down, and it was great. I think they made me start pushing at around 11, because it seemed to take about an hour or less to get Niko out. Couldn’t feel it, but I’m sure I would have died, literally, if I had to felt that every single thing. Props to you if you had a completely drug free birth, you have my utmost respect, lady.

Exactly at midnight Niko made his debut, face up (which is unusual) and they handed him to me.. slime and everything. That was surprising.  I don’t even recall ever really holding a tiny baby for a long period of time in my life, maybe once I did for a couple of minutes.  But to hold one that fresh– that was something else!  For a second, I completely forgot about all that pain from the previous two days.  It was worth it to hold my little pumpkin for the first time.  Granted, I will definitely be saving this past Christmas in my arsenal for when he gets older.

It’s so funny because a few weeks prior a friend of mine asked me what I was going to be doing for Christmas, and my answer was that I’d be having a baby.  Funny how I was exactly right to not plan for anything.  Although he wasn’t born on Christmas, I now have a reason to celebrate two days in a row!

I’ll skip the next two days I spent in the hospital on like 2 hours of sleep because someone was cluster feeding and had to have milk every hour…….. No one tells you that.  No one.  We finally went home Sunday afternoon.  You see my mom’s hand trying to hold his head up in this photo?  She was being a total helicopter mom.  JUST LET ME LIVE, MOTHER.  Just kidding.  I really do have a new appreciation for her as a mom and as a person.  She’s been my person throughout this whole pregnancy and delivery, and I really don’t even know what I’d do without her. Plus I look at my son, and I get it now.  That thing that moms talk about.  I get it.

I’ve been home with my little guy for a week, and we’ve had our ups and downs, sleepless nights, late mornings sleeping in, sore boobs, lots of crying (on both parties).. but it’s been an experience!  I’ve learned quite a lot, about him and myself.  He’s a funny little guy.  He has a million facial expressions, just like me.  My favorite is this cheeky smile he has, it makes him look like he’s up to something, one day I’ll try to capture it.  He does most of his sleeping during daylight hours and like in the womb, he loves to party all night.  He has really good focus for a newborn, this surprised both my mother and I actually.  He peed on me a lot sooner than I thought he would– it happened the very first time I changed his diaper and he actually was not crying about it, he was very silent for the first time…… I should have known better.  He likes falling sleeping on me but will wake up shortly after I put him down in his bassinet or crib, and honestly I secretly don’t mind because I’m so used to him being close to me anyway– and I love it.

I now spend my free time (his sleep time) deciding whether I want to eat, sleep, or clean something.  I spend entirely too much time just staring at him, like a true mamarazzi, especially when he’s asleep.  That is where most of my time is spent while he’s asleep unfortunately.  I just feel like I’ll miss something or just blink and he’ll be grown up or something.  He’s already a week old for crying out loud!  Life has been interesting to say the least, but my monster appetite has disappeared, thank God.  There have been moments where I would think it was so much later than it actually was, and I don’t even know what the day is?  Oh well.

I still don’t think it hit me yet, but I have my moments when other people mention it to me.  While I was at the hospital, the nurse said to me, “mom, do you want anything?” and I thought she was talking to my mom.  But she wasn’t.  And that was my first moment, the first of many.

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One thought on “On Niko

  1. I am SO proud of you & bb Niko, mama! Cannot wait to meet the lil fella & hear all about being a mother. 2014 was mega good to you! A Master’s degree, a sweet bb, and lots of love. Plus, you are the coolest chick in the world. Love you so much! ❤ ❤ ❤


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