Throughout most of my adult life, I can honestly say I usually have more guy friends than women friends. Not because I’m one of those self-proclaiming “I do not get along with women” women who is essentially “just like the guys”– although who really wants to be like a guy? That’s another topic, for another day. And the bottom line is– for me, I’m not as picky with my guy friends because I talk more about what’s important to me with my women friends, so obviously I’m more selective about those who I’m closest to. And that’s that.
Onto my guy friends. It is pretty inevitable in almost every conversation that happens whilst we are eating or drinking we end up on the conversation of women and men. It never fails. One of the repeated things I hear from some of my male friends is that women do not want a “nice guy” and actually prefer jerks. And I just cannot understand from where guys get that ridiculous notion, because last time I checked grown women do not actually like jerks. Honestly, what sane person admits to even liking jerks? This stupid idea is then planted into some poor guys’ head and then starts a sick cycle of nice guy turns into an asshole who then turns nice girl into, for lack of a better word, a bitch.
I am just going to state that, for the most part, we do not want to date an asshole. However.. at one point we probably did (instant regret) date that guy, but listen– we do not end up with that guy. That guy is just someone that happens in passing, a guy that was a mistake (or lesson– whatever), and was probably during a time where there were several bad decisions and possibly copious amounts of alcohol. Or you could have just had a bad judgement call. Whatever. The point is, this isn’t the final guy.
I do believe though that women do not like men who are pushovers and insecure. Whoever equated someone being nice to someone being a pushover is confusing a lot of people out there. You’re not helping women like me, who actually like nice men– who are not pushovers, and at the same time not uncompromising, egotistical jerks who have their heads so far up their ass that all they care about is being right. No. No, we do not want that, and what sane person would?
From speaking with other like minded women, honestly.. I think a nice guy that is also confident, but not in the fake, overcompensating, dictator way is really the ideal choice. Confidence in a man, is just extremely hot. Like.. you could be a 4 and bumped up to a 7, kind of hot. Trust me, I’ve dated that guy and it’s a real thing, y’all.
So I need the moaning from alleged/stereotypical “nice guys” to cease, because you’re just misguided. It’s not that you’re nice, it’s definitely something else. Perhaps lack of a back bone. I hate to tell you that, but I’m not here to boost egos. On the other hand! There are a select few who like that type of guy*.. those are dominant people. If you’re OK with not being the dominant one, then good for you. Don’t change, sweetheart.
*Exception, not the rule.