20something, personally lyka, Sex, Thrash

On worthiness

I have been trying to blog all week. Five drafts later here we are. Yesterday morning while I was wasting time before I actually got out of bed, because I cannot just pop out of bed like normal people, I read this article a friend posted and literally hopped out of bed immediately just to write this.

Aside from the obvious misogynistic point of view, I’m kind of sad because now I feel as if have to tell my 2875846 nonexistent lovers that we need to stop having meaningless sex so that I can eventually end up with a guy that does the exact same thing because he’s entitled to do so because he’s the man and it’s expected but that I should really just wear a chastity belt on my lady parts. Run-on sentence. Really guys*? Not that I’m this unicorn he speaks of, but I consider that aspect of my life super tame, because I don’t even remember what sex is. Sorry, you can’t unknow that now. And for the record, it’s not because of what guys like that think.

But!

What if I wanted to be like this guy? What if I wanted to be the proverbial slut that has “no dignity or morals”? As a modern woman that seemingly has a lot going for her, I feel like I shouldn’t be judged over it. It’s 2013. I had this conversation with a guy friend just the other day about double standards– he asked me why do women feel that there is such a stigma to NSA sex, and I gave him a damn good answer my opinion: whether it’s true for some people or not, that double standard exists. I also told him that I think men are generally are better at compartmentalizing that aspect of their life, but that’s just from my observation. I don’t agree with it, and I think it’s ridiculous that there are people out there that still equate a woman’s worth based on this. It just alludes to the fact that we are still being seen as objects and not people. Times are changing though, and while this concept is still out there, I’m hopeful that most guys aren’t like that right?? Well, at least the guys I know personally.

But I digress, just because a group of small-minded people think this way, it shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want ladies! While I think that there should be a certain degree of self-awareness of why you do things, whether they’re for the right reasons or not (both men or women), sometimes you just want to go out and get some strange. Do some shit that you know is bad for you. Shit that makes you wake up the next morning saying hmm.. I probably shouldn’t’ve done that. But oh the hell well, lesson learned. I’ve had my moments, but now I’m at the age where I think about doing certain things..

Only because I know myself more than when I was in my early 20s, lost, had little sense of identity and was doing dumb stuff all the time. Probably not all the time, but it felt like it looking back. The magical thing about getting older is you tend to care less what other people think of you and just become who you were meant to become– or something like that. The people who are meant to be in your life will accept who you are– I mean, so what if I have several lovers post ridiculous memes, have a foul mouth, and can eat my weight in cookies? That malarkey aside, I’m an honest person who means what she says, loves meaningful conversations and hates small talk, and among other things.. if you know me, then you already know how I am. If you don’t know me, well I am whatever you think I am, I suppose. My point is, those dark spots on your life that people will judge you for do not define you– especially how many sexual partners you have and if someone thinks of less because of it, well you’re better off without that person in your life. Unless it’s like 100+ partners.. then that’s a whole different story. We may need to have a heart to heart about some thangs..

At first this article really ticked me off, like.. really. Then after a day of thinking about it, it just became more laughable. Smart women know the difference between a good guy and a misogynistic asshole– obviously this guy being the latter. I consider myself a very strong woman, so naturally I gravitate towards strong men, and this guy.. weak. Also, as a strong woman, I know that the opinions of the weak don’t define you.. nor should any one else’s, but especially those that are close-minded. Mhmm.

A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.

Coco Chanel

* Before I receive hate mail from my guy friends– I get it. Not all guys are like this, blah blah. I get it.

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