communication, IMO, personally lyka

On breaking up.. with friends

So you have this friend. You’ve been friends with this person for a while.. a few years maybe. You’ve been friends since you were teenagers and you went through that weird phase in your late teens/early twenties. You’re getting towards your mid-twenties and you notice that you two are heading in different directions. You notice that the friendship is starting to be one-sided and more of a hassle than it’s worth. You notice that the energy when you’re around said person is quite depressing and it makes you want to hang yourself (figuratively.. of course).

This was me a few years ago. This was me with quite a few people in my life. I believe that there are pivotal moments in your life where you’re going to change, and your relationships with people either have to change or they get left behind. I had these moments where I had to step away from someone because our relationship just wasn’t serving either one of us and it was hard, man. It’s hard to let go of something that you put years into.. your soul, your secrets into.. it’s hard to let go of a person that you made so many memories with but sometimes it’s necessary.

Like romantic relationships, I am all about breaking up with your friends for the greater good. I stumbled across an old Tumblr I had– I don’t know why I have two Tumblrs.. actually, but anyway I saw this post and it was racking my brain because I could not for the life of me think of any guy I was dating at that time! Then it Break Up dawned on me.. I was talking about a female friend. Dear God. How emotionally loaded was that post?! Granted, I’m still very much so the same, but I think I handle these type of situations differently– posting on a blog while I’m emotionally heated is not one of them. I was reading it and was so horrified by how “raw” I was about it. I wrote exactly what was on my mind, unfiltered and unafraid. I’m surprised there weren’t more f-bombs thrown in to be quite honest. It brought back so many memories, I don’t think any of my friends realized how frazzled I was about that relationship. It was so unbelievably unhealthy. I audibly sighed out loud just thinking of that emotional roller coaster.

But back to my main point.. I was at a point where I could not keep holding onto something that wasn’t working and I believe a lot of people have felt that way about a friendship at one point in time. People, you gotta let it go. Keep in mind, I’m not saying just throw out all those hard relationships or anything. I think if a friendship is salvageable, and worth it, you ought to fight for it. But if there’s nothing there, and you’re at the end of your rope and you’ve already tried talking it out and cannot come to a consensus, then you better walk away. Unfortunately, breaking up with a friend is not so easy, but hey neither are the other kind of breakups. The right way is often not the easy way, but it’s so much better in the long run.

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